Perspective

Posted on Wed Jan 2nd, 2019 @ 11:02am by

831 words; about a 4 minute read

Mission: The Emerald Road
Location: Bawden Quarters

I lay on the sofa feet lazily dangling over one side, head resting on the other, I had picked Miracle up from day care, on in battles case where children were dropped off and protected in a secure location. I had sent a message to Ayla that I'd done so so she didn't waste her time after she was busy doing what ever she was up to. I expected her home almost 20 minutes ago now, so what ever held her back must have been important.

Miracle was laying on my chest, adorable and cute, as kids often were when they were sleeping. She was so much like her mother, soft fur, ears, tail. Crafty too, had to watch my food from time to time otherwise 'the paw' would sneak from the edge of my plate and steal some. Since the loss of Marcie it had been hard, I was not sure if I'd done my usual and bottled it up just to be strong for Ayla or I had yet to deal with it in my own way. With things going as they were we were always on the go, always busy, hardly had time for ourselves never mind anything else.

I had heard that we got Vash back, word was tight lipped about her condition but since the Commodore left to see her, he'd not been seen since. It was one of those situations where I wished I couldn't sympathise, but I could, I knew firsthand what he'd gone through because I had with Ayla many missions ago. It was hard, traumatic, it changes a person but for better or worse was up to them if they let it. With us on the way home again I had hoped that we would get a little time off to relax, I didn't know the state of the Dreadnought since we left her in dock, pretty sure Starfleet had a field day with her.

A hand lay on Miracles back, holding her so she didn't fall from me, the other stroking between her ears and cheek as she slept. There was something tranquil about it, peaceful, almost simple in a way that despite all the rigours of the world around her, she could sleep with such ease. Sometimes I had to envy her, there were times when I just wanted to walk in, boots off and shut my eyes but my brain refused to switch off. I'd lay there sure but I'd be awake, somewhat alert and definitely not resting.

After our little turbolift tiff about if Ayla felt worthy, or that I'd still want to be with her, I'd not really thought about our future. Not in a negative way, I didn't plan on leaving her or anything but part of me thought about trying again but after what happened I was not sure how to touch on the subject in conversation. Only a few of the family had spoken to us about it but then again with the missions we have been up to or what ever they have been doing its no surprise that some had fallen off the grid.

Ayla and I still tried to keep in touch with what brought us together, simple touches, she'd put outfits on, make shapes with her tail, be affectionate or something. I still remembered a young jaw dropped young man sitting on the sofa when Ayla slipped the gown off her shoulders. Wordless, frozen like a deer in headlights. I was so glad Ayla took the lead in that one. She was breathtakingly beautiful, still was, perhaps if I made more of an effort then things would get better, I knew I'd been busy with work a lot and I didn't feel like I'd been a good Husband to her recently.

When she would get back I hoped at least to try and talk to her about it, home is where the happiness should be and considering what was going on around us, that was even more important to have.

I remembered when I made the switch from Marines to Tactical, I didn't do it because I was afraid I did it because I had a family, I couldn't go off gallivanting across mission after mission putting my life in danger at every turn and leave Miracle fatherless, Ayla a widow. I did it because I felt it was the right thing to do and I didn't blame anyone for my choice, not even myself. I'd spoken to Ayla about it, we spoke at length and she backed my choice. I was just lucky to be able to serve on the same ship still after the change.

Miracle shifted on me, apparently my chest was growing uncomfortable as she sprawled out, head hanging under my chin now. I had not given any thought as to dinner, I'd probably wait until Ayla got home to see what she wanted, if anything, in which I'd feed the sleepy infant and eat later myself.

RSS Feed