Never Gets Easy

Posted on Mon Feb 18th, 2019 @ 8:08am by Colonel Jason "Jack" Frost
Edited on on Mon Feb 18th, 2019 @ 8:09am

1,251 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: What Stalks The Night
Location: Earth, Starfleet Housing Grounds

Having had her wounds treated Samantha retired to her quarters to wash up and slip into a fresh uniform before seeing how the Colonel was doing since he'd been treated. Call it woman's intuition but she could tell behind that stern cold exterior that Jack was beating himself up about what happened feeling that because he was incapacitated that his lack of leadership resulted in the deaths of many others.

In a way she felt the same way even if Sam believed that she did what she could, when she could. It was always difficult to lose people, everyone knew it was a risk every time they put on the greens and did so with pride, its always hard when it came time to pay the ultimate price. She hardly knew those they lost on the Orion Corvette bar names and what they specialised in, it almost made it seem stale, name, rank and serial number. It saddened her, she blamed herself for not getting to know those she worked with but partly soothed it with knowing they were all highly trained marines doing what they were trained to do and did so honourably.

That somewhat comforting notion tasted very bitter to her though, it was a double edged sword and one she wore since accepting a commission. Always taught to leave a distance between a leader and the troops they lead it made them know who was in charge and who followed. In doing so though it meant that in a way she could come off uncaring or willing to take extra risks with the lives of those under her. She didn't know what to do about it now.

The water shower felt amazing, feeling the grime, grit, dust and rough edges wash off, fade away and ease. Her hair was the most difficult issue since she did dive through a window, roll around a few times and a few close calls which rewarded her with a shower of debris. She admitted to herself that this was indeed refreshing, a much needed thing before she prepped to get dressed and head out. Walking through her quarters wrapped in an overly large very comfortable towel she asked. =^= Computer, location of Colonel Frost? =^=

The computer told her he was in his temporary quarters since nobody yet knew if they were going back to the Dreadnought or being put somewhere else. In the time she knew the man he spent most of his time being the Colonel, being the marine, from what she read now though he was a man within a relationship that seemed to do him wonders and she saw the positive influence that Acacia had been on him. She understood that she'd form over time a working relationship with the Colonel as his right hand marine, and perhaps she herself was lucky having found Annabelle and everyone being so accepting, even if it was two women.

Colonel Frost's Quarters

How does one measure loss? Jack thought as he looked at the files, names, service records of those lost. Snipers, Demolition Experts, Recon Specialists. Weapons, gear, damage to several logistical assets. Jack rattled off in his head what he knew was lost or damaged. How does one measure loss?

***Door Chime***

"Yes, come." Jack wasn't in the right frame of mind right now to see people but couldn't risk an outburst if it turned out to be Acacia on the other side of the door.

Sam walked in when the door opened and saw the Colonel behind his desk partially obscured from view by the terminal on the table top. "Colonel." She greeted him.

"Jack, please. Come on Sam relax." Jack asked.

"I came to speak to you, about you actually." She answered rounding a chair and sitting in it. "When we got back on board I saw your face, woman's intuition tells me that your angry about what happened and beating yourself up over it."

Jack's relationship towards women had changed a lot since his relationship with Acacia had started, he loved them for everything they were but hated them for what they could do. A few soothing words could calm a storm, a hug could tear down the wall a man was hiding behind to protect himself and love, well that managed to worm its way though any barrier or defence and sink straight to the heart.

Jack stood up and paced a little. "The mission was a mess."

"It's over now, no point beating yourself up over it now." Sam replied.

"It cost me several good, talented men, some of them were my friends and I've worked with them for years." Jack could feel his temper rise and teeter on the edge of getting the better of him.

"But you saved everyone else." Sam countered.

"No, you did." Jack asked. "I was laid up on a bed because I cocked up."

"We do what we have to, when we have to or called upon to do." Sam responded softly. "The situation we found ourselves in was unexpected, we were not prepared for it but reacted as best we could to it. It was a dynamic situation that was constantly changing."

"You make it sound so clear cut." Jack returned as he continued his pacing. "A leader is trusted, depended on and I let them down, walked them right into a trap."

"I don't believe that and I don't think you really do too." Sam interjected. "You were there, everyone took a step forward, they knew the risks. You asked relevant questions, got the information you felt you needed to make a determined and effective mission outlay. You accounted for the female Orions by putting one or more women amongst each team."

"I should have been ready, alert, prepared." Jack spoke over his shoulder as he looked through the one way glass to the main floor harbour and the little boats upon its blue surface.

"You can't plan for every eventuality, consider every potential action or hic-up though." Sam turned in her chair keeping herself facing him. "Your a good leader, a sheet to prove it and a reputation to back it up. You did what you thought was best in a situation that was wrong. Yes we lost people, but if you didn't take action then we would have lost many more."

Jack did a good job in working himself up, biting his tongue almost literally to avoid snapping at Sam who he knew was just trying to help. "I should have seen it coming, there is no honour anymore, when I was a young man if someone hits me I hit back, bam! and its done with."

"In a simpler world once that might have been true but consider who our enemy was then, Orions, big ones, on their ship. We had to go to them and push into them." Sam spoke.

"Yeah, that doesn't make it any easier though." Jack retorted.

"I know Jack" Feeling somewhat safe calling him by his name which even still felt weird. "Hey are you going to the Gala?"

"Yeah I planned to, Acacia seemed keen to go and to be honest I'd like to go out away from things. You?"

"Oh no, I have a candle lit dinner with Annabelle, then late night shopping."

"Have fun with that then..." Jack smirked, knowing that Annabelle had a talent for throwing Sam for a confusing six when it meant getting her out of a uniform and into more feminine clothing.

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