Inner Demons Never Rest

Posted on Sun Jun 1st, 2025 @ 8:14pm by Major Samantha Snyder

587 words; about a 3 minute read

Mission: Let That Be Your Last
Location: MXO's Office
Timeline: Just Prior To Arrival In System

Sam found herself in her office, attempting to secure a change of quarters, a task made difficult by her position and the requirement for two people instead of just herself. There were a few options available, but they would involve moving to the opposite side of the ship, and she could already picture herself on autopilot, mistakenly heading to the wrong quarters' multiple times.

Most people had given her some space since that incident, which she appreciated, but she understood that it would take a considerable amount of time for her to return to any semblance of normalcy.

Since that day, Sam had been consistently mindful of her actions, making an effort not to let any sudden noise or movement trigger a reflex, especially since her last reflex had resulted in Bianca ending up in Sickbay. After Bianca's departure from Sickbay, Sam had become cautious and hesitant around her; they hadn’t shared a bed and had been sleeping in separate rooms.

This wasn’t due to a lack of love for Bianca, but rather because she didn’t yet trust herself to be near her without the risk of something unfortunate occurring.

There were many nights when Sam found it hard to sleep or would wake up repeatedly, plagued by thoughts of 'what if' it happened again. On several occasions, she had tried sleeping with her hands restrained to prevent any reflexive actions, but that didn’t always prove effective.

News had arrived that they were nearing the area of operations, though she was uncertain what that would entail for the marine contingent aboard the ship. However, she was confident it would have some significance. In the meantime, she needed to ensure that reports were completed, certifications were arranged, and promotion boards were set up.

Sam despised these tasks, even though she had to conduct a few herself to achieve the rank of Major; now, she found herself on the other side of the table.

As she reviewed the list, she noted that she had one Captain, two 1st Lieutenants, two 2nd Lieutenants, one Sergeant, and five Corporals to assign. The NCO roles were considerably more straightforward and laid-back, while the officer positions were always under pressure, as each officer viewed this as a potential pathway to becoming a General one day and felt the need to make a good impression.

Typically, these positions would be filled by the MCO along with two randomly selected individuals who were ranked above or equal to the position, with at least one year of experience in the required rank. Jack hadn’t mentioned anything to her about participating in any discussions yet, but there was still about a week before they began.

She was looking forward to the certification appointments, which varied in nature, as they sometimes allowed her to get some range time in, helping her maintain her skills. Knowing her own certification was coming up soon, she took the opportunity to schedule a time with the Quartermaster to supervise the range for her.

Suddenly, her computer beeped, indicating that operations had sent her a list of available quarters or those that could be made available. She chose not to look at the list yet, preferring to wait for Bianca to be there so they could review it together with fresh eyes.

Additionally, Sam arranged for some flowers for Bianca. It wasn’t meant as an apology—nothing could ever truly make up for what had happened—but that didn’t mean she had stopped caring for her.

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