Shopping shouldn't require thinking.

Posted on Fri Jul 10th, 2026 @ 5:17pm by Lieutenant Bianca Donati

692 words; about a 3 minute read

Mission: Marine Ball
Location: Promenade

She was frequently prone to woolgathering as she walked the corridors of the great Beast of a ship, mind a thousand light years away from where her body's physical presence was. Theoretically, she was looking for her dress for the Marine ball.

It was inevitable that her thoughts would wander to Samantha, her fiery fierce little Marine, on the eve of the marine ball. Her injury on the battlefield had nearly destroyed everything that they'd worked so hard to build, but Bianca was not willing to give up despite having been hurt by her lover.

The fact that she'd had to recover from her own injuries, long before she met Samantha tempered her reaction to the situation they found themselves in. That injury had remade her, and taken things from her that she hadn't realized were intrinsic to her until she'd lost them. Bianca had gained other things as well, a tiny streak of dominance that hadn't been there before and a depth of patience that also hadn't been there. Bianca remembered every bit of therapy. Every bit of pain she'd had to work through just to walk again, much less be a complete person.

She just wanted to be a woman, just wanted to be loved, and she had found that in abundance in the blonde who haunted both her wildest dreams and her darkest nightmares. Bianca knew that her partner's nightmares were just as vibrant and vicious as her own, and they'd struggled to find a point where they could coexist.

I love her.

That simple thought was more startling to her than any of the previous trails that her mind had gone down that day. She knew, intellectually that she loved Sam. She knew it as well as she knew her own heartbeat, but she wasn't so good at expressing her feelings to her partner. She never come out and said the words. Bianca was as sure as she was sure she breathed that Samantha just wanted her to love her. She hoped that her partner knew, from her actions.

Maybe she didn't know. Maybe she'd failed utterly in being a partner, but there was only one way to rectify that. Bianca knew they needed to have a conversation. About everything. About the injury and their mutual fears. Their wants for the future. The intensity of the passion between them. The broken PADD was just a symbol of passion, it wasn't the words 'I love you.' She thought also that Sam's nightmares weren't better because she wasn't really letting herself heal. It's hard to let yourself hurt when you don't feel safe.

Tears burned in her dark eyes and she forced her body to keep moving. She might cry in private but not here in the promenade where people could see her. Acacia had seen her break down, and she trusted implicitly that Acacia would take the things she'd said while she sobbed to her grave.

Sam needed that. With her. Not with the Colonel or her marines but with her. Her partner, friend and lover. Maybe...she should force the issue. Maybe they should fight, force Sam to swing on her again...purposely. Maybe...she should take away her control entirely- because that was the fear wasn't it? What she would do without control? Put her on her knees until she begged for more. Make her listen. Bring her Home to me.

Would she listen?
Would it be worth it?
Would she break and be the same Samantha she adored?
Would she still want to be with her?
Would she still love her, the way Bianca loved her if she forced the issue?

Her fingers moved through the dresses on the holo-dummies and she rejected several colors outright that didn't look good on her. Yellow, pink, white and pastelly colors went out. She wanted something easy to move in, so she could dance with her marine.

I love her. I want her to come home to me, forever. I need her more than I even want her. She makes me better and she makes me want...forever. Maybe I should propose...

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